If you have a pulse, you likely have a mental if not physical to-do list. It may be full of domestic tasks, family tasks. Personal wellness might even make the list. I love a good list almost as much as I love crossing things off. There does come a point, however, when the list making can seem more hindrance than help.

Do you ever go to bed at night and right when your body collapses exhausted your brain wakes up and starts listing all the things you should have done today but didn’t? Or been in the middle of an important task or meeting when your brain runs off and starts juggling a list of all the things that must be done before your vacation in three days?

Thanks to somewhat better access to mental health services, many of us are familiar with the phrase “stop shoulding yourself.” The idea that thinking about all the things you should do or should have done is not helpful and sometimes harmful. I would like to take this a step further.

What would happen if I, if we all, stopped making endless lists. What if instead of writing on my planner every day that I need to meditate, I just noticed when I had a natural break in my day and did it. Or even more radically, what if at the end of every day, instead of moving an ever growing list of things to do, I thought for a moment about what I had accomplished and told myself it was enough. My output was enough. I was enough.

I don’t know if I can break up with lists completely. They are a long term habit, and as I push further into my forties I do need to write things down if I want to recall them. I can commit to killing the aspirational to-do lists, though. The unrealistic ones where I imagine a perfect world where I can be everything to everyone I love including myself. I can commit to telling myself that what I complete each day is enough. That today, I am enough. Want to try it? You should. I bet you are enough, too.